I have often wondered what it would have been like had I chosen a different career path? The one that I chose was honorable, but it has been extremely difficult to maintain any sense of self when I was constantly bombarded with digs not only on my faith, but my choices about that faith as well. I struggled when I was younger with the fact that I wasn’t very close to God, so I didn’t have a strong sense of who I needed to be as a Christian. I saw all of these people my age that looked so sure of themselves, that they knew exactly what God had planned for them. I wanted that but had no idea on which path I needed to take. Like I said, I chose an honorable one, and by serving my country I gained a respect for myself that I had otherwise not had. This great thing I was doing led to a problem, I stepped further away from the path that I desperately wanted to be on. When I strayed from that path I fell in where I felt comfortable, and needless to say that it was not where I had pictured myself.
Fast forward nearly two decades to a place and time where I feel as though God has led me. I was able to gain footing in my faith after a long absence without it. I have attempted to turn over a new leaf and be the person that I believe I was meant to be. The faith jabs have subsided, and as I get older I find the knowledge that has been imparted on me is something that I must not keep to myself. Yes, I still sometimes feel as though maybe my career choice is a bit askew, but I think I was placed where I am to impart wisdom of sorts on those that I am tasked with mentoring. When I say wisdom, I don’t mean with work, I mean life. It would take years for these young kids to learn everything they need. Taking the time to simply speak about what I have learned in my life, about what I felt when I was younger is something that is becoming more important to me than anything I can think of at the moment. The path I went down caused me spiritually pain and discontent, so if I am able to impart that knowledge that God has given me maybe I can help someone avoid taking my path, and find their way to God that much sooner. Besides, what good is having the knowledge if you aren’t willing to share it. That really is a silly notion.