Liberals’ top ten reasons to dislike Mitt Romney

(From where else, the Internet)

  1. With a gracious, statesmanlike aura, he looks like every central casting’s #1 choice for Commander-in-Chief. Too good looking for the job especially since …
  2. He’s been married to ONE woman his entire life. And he has been faithful to her, including through her bouts with breast cancer and MS. What’s a good solid, muck raking journalist got to write about here?
  3. Boringly he has no business scandals or skeletons in his closet that can stick. Folks are trying hard to make them up using the word Bain and Felon in the same breath, but it doesn’t seem to work because of those damn facts that keep getting in the way.
  4. Can’t ‘get down’ in a fake, southern, “black preacher voice” when necessary. There are ‘g’s’ at the end of the words he uses that end in ‘ing’. See what I’m sayin?
  5. Highly intelligent. Graduated cum laude from both Harvard Law School and Harvard Business School.. Kind of embarrassing. Why then does he have to rub it in and release all that information to the public?
  6. Doesn’t smoke or drink. Has never done drugs (though we can expect Ms. Felony F. Cutter to call for a drug test any day now). Not even part of a ‘choom gang’ in college. He actually did missionary work and tended to the needs of other people while in school. How silly is that?
  7. Represents an America where people believe in God, go to Church and do hard work. Not everyone, but still most. So when he does these things, it’s like pandering. Like when he worked hard to achieve his successes and takes responsibility for those things he did that didn’t work out. Really kind of old fashioned, no?
  8. Has a family of five sons, none of whom have police records, rap sheets or are in drug rehab. Mitt’s wife is a stay-at-home mom, a family “choice” that deserves our scorn.
  9. And then there’s the MORMON thing. We need to be very afraid of any religion that teaches its members to be clean-living, patriotic, fiscally conservative, charitable, self-reliant, and honest. How low can you get?
  10. And one more point … pundits say he can’t relate to ordinary Americans and that is probably because he is so wealthy. And he doesn’t even acknowledge the role of government in helping him get what he’s got. The roads and bridges and all. he’d be much more likable if he won the lottery, married the money or inherited it all from Dad. Many Americans could identify with that. And then there’s that charity thing. With him giving so much away, it just makes the rest of us feel guilty. The Clintons, Kerrys, and Gores are rightfully enraged.
  11. and two more for good measure …

  12. Sort of rubs it in when he doesn’t take a government salary. He took no salary as Governor. He took no salary as CEO of the Olympics. How can you like a guy like that? He should at least have an EBTcard or get paid in scratch tickets. He doesn’t understand that actually working at a job and earning your own money makes you unlikable to so many lethargic Americans.
  13. Hasn’t written one autobiography yet, let alone two or three. uses the words I and me sparingly. Hard to figure out what he’s done. We need more direction on this count. See what I’m sayin?

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